Exhale: A Blog for Women’s Mental & Emotional Health
I’ve heard a similar response from many people: “I tried to meditate but I just can’t get my mind to stop. It just doesn’t work for me.” If you’re someone who has tried to meditate but struggled with this practice, what can you do to still be able to get the same benefits that quiet meditation provide?
While the openness of people in the public spotlight has begun to normalize the discussions surrounding mental health struggles, in my conversations with friends and colleagues and in my work with clients, I have found that many of us still hold self-judgment and shame over our own struggles with anxiety and depression. As I’ve talked with other women, there are three common narratives many women seem to believe about themselves and their mental health that make acceptance of one’s anxiety and depression extremely challenging.
Pregnancy is typically a time filled with celebration, joy, and eager expectation of your little one’s arrival. During pregnancy, there are milestones you look forward to: the first time you hear your baby’s heartbeat, seeing that tiny little face on an ultrasound, a gender reveal party, a baby shower thrown by loved ones, and the first time you get to finally hold your bundle of joy in your arms. And throughout these special moments, you can’t wait to be able to share them with you partner or spouse, other children, friends, and family members. But with the arrival of the coronavirus a few months ago, those of us who are pregnant found that our expectations for many of these milestones seemed to shatter around us.
For us all, 2020 has certainly been a year that we will not quickly forget. When the coronavirus first hit, none of us predicted that life would look like it does today. “Oh, I can’t wait to be stuck in my house, homeschooling my kids, while trying to still get by, day by day, during a global pandemic with no end in sight,” said no mom ever. Yet, here we are – over two months into this life-altering time in history, and with little clarity on how life proceeds from here.
When we lose a friend or a family member, the rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions that accompany our grief can be expected to a degree. This was someone who was an important part of our life, someone we had a relationship with, so of course we will grieve the loss of their life. But when a celebrity dies, we are often surprised by the intensity of the feelings we experience over the loss of a person we never had an actual relationship with.
The start of a new year often brings a full mix of emotions: excitement for new beginnings, grief over what has changed, anticipation of things to come, exhaustion from the stress of the holidays.
With the new year also comes lists of goals, ideas, and resolutions we seek to cultivate in the days to come. Some of us want to create new health habits; others want to find a new hobby, while someone else strives for financial goals. Each person seeks different intentions and desires with the new year, but one goal should be on everyone’s 2020 list: self-care.
One health care benefit that’s often misunderstood is behavioral and mental health services. Especially Tricare coverage for those services when you access them online. Having access to emotional support is very important for military spouses. Military life has constant ups and downs and can take a real toll on your emotional well-being. Talking with a therapist can help you learn how to cope with whatever you are facing. And online therapy provides women, especially military spouses, the support they need to thrive.
When you fly on an airplane, you need to put your oxygen mask on before putting one on your child. And that is a perfect metaphor for the importance of self-care as a busy mom. If we don’t have our oxygen masks on first, we can’t help our little ones with theirs. So, here are five more ideas of how you can practice self-care as a busy mom.
The role of “Mom” requires you to constantly pour out of your cup to meet the needs of these young ones. However, when our own cups are empty, it’s nearly impossible to cope with our own stress and anxiety. But how are you supposed to nurture yourself when your schedule barely allows you time to shower? I’ve got ten ideas for ways you can practice self-care as a busy mom .
You set out to learn to manage your anxiety and improve that area of your life. You seek out strategies, techniques, mantras…anything to help you find a better way of coping with the anxious thoughts and feelings. Maybe you’ve picked a particular strategy, such as mindful breathing, that you practice daily. But a month or two down the road, you’re having a hard time seeing the effects of this practice in helping you decrease these unwanted anxious thoughts and feelings. “Is this even working? Have I even changed?” You aren’t alone if you find yourself with these questions. When a client comes to me with these kinds of feelings, I ask them to “check their altitude.”
Ever since my son was able to walk, we’ve been going to the same playground regularly. He knows the different slides he likes, the stairs he religiously climbs again and again, and the swinging bridge he’s been too nervous to cross for months. It became almost comical how he would run up to this bridge, only to abruptly stop. Occasionally he would cautiously dip his toe on the bridge to assess his safety, and immediately turn around and head in the opposite direction.
The Hawaiian Islands are among the most beautiful places in the world, which is why millions of people visit every year. The beauty of the people, the land, the spirit, the water is unparalleled. And for people on vacation, Hawaii allows them to escape the reality of life that awaits them back home. For those of us who live in Hawaii, life is not a constant vacation.
The Big Easy. The Crescent City. Call it what you will, New Orleans is a city like none other. The food, the music, the culture; you will not find another place like New Orleans. However, living in a unique, beautiful city doesn’t shelter you from life’s challenges. Sometimes you need to reach out and talk to someone for help and support.
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