4 Tips for Coping With the Stress of a PCS as a Military Spouse
For most families, the summer months are a time of vacation and relaxed schedules
In the world of military families, the summer months are known as “PCS season.” A Permanent Change of Station (PCS) is most definitely not a stress-free time. Having PCS’d several times – and being currently neck-deep in the midst of one! – I know first-hand the amount of overwhelm, exhaustion, and anxiety that can come from a military move.
Between trying to prepare the house for movers, scheduling final medical appointments, finding good school districts, and attempting to find housing, it is enough to push anyone to the brink of a panic attack. Whether you are preparing for your first or your tenth PCS, you are not alone if you are feeling stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed. Moving is one of the most stressful life events a person can go through, and as the spouse of a military service member, you will experience more moves than the average individual. So, here are four tips to help you cope with the stress of a PCS as a military spouse.
Lower Your Self-Expectations
When it’s time to PCS, there are a million things that need to be taken care of on top of all the other life details and events still taking place. You may still be working full-time on top of trying to help your kids cope with their own emotions about a move, or you may be in the middle of a pregnancy and preparing for a baby while also preparing to move across the country. Trying to balance the demands of everyday life on top of the emotional and physical stress of a PCS can be really exhausting.
Be gentle with yourself. If you find that you’re having a shorter fuse with your kids or spouse, that is normal because you are stressed. Don’t beat yourself up if you have a meltdown or two. When they happen, take a moment to offer yourself some self-compassion, and remind yourself, “PCSing is hard, and I’m doing the best I can.”
Use Your Support Systems
The number of things that need to be taken care of during a PCS comprises an endless list, and there never seems to be enough time to take care of it all yourself. Moms are notorious for feeling like we must do it all ourselves and we shouldn’t ask for help. But if there was ever a time to throw out that idea, it is during a PCS. Whether you need someone to watch your kids for a few hours so you can sort through things to keep and things to donate, or an ear to listen to you about your worries surrounding moving to your new base, do not be afraid to utilize your support system.
If you feel overwhelmed and are struggling with the PCS process, ask other military spouses in your community for their feedback, or connect with others in the PCS Your Smooth Move Facebook group to get support and recommendations to help you with the process.
Practice Open Communication With Your Spouse
What stresses you out about a PCS may not be the same things that stress out your military service member. The things that make you feel worried about your PCS may not even be on your spouse’s radar. You may be overwhelmed by everything that needs to be done to enroll your kids at their new school, and your spouse may be oblivious to all that you need to do to make that happen. Try to be open with your partner about how you are feeling about the whole PCS process. When you find yourself feeling anxious or worried, tell them so they can be there to support you mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Work With an Online Therapist
Moving is hard, and as a military spouse, PCSing can bring up a variety of thoughts and emotions. Talking with a therapist about the stress and anxiety you are experiencing because of your move can help make the transition a little easier. Online therapy can allow you to meet with your therapist even while the movers are there packing boxes, or if you are in an Airbnb on the road.
One of the greatest benefits of working with an online therapist who takes Tricare insurance is that if they are licensed in the state to which you are moving, you don’t have to switch therapists after you PCS. Your online therapist can help you cope with the stress of your move and work through the anxiety you may experience from your PCS.
Begin Military Spouse Therapy in Florida, Colorado, Hawaii, or Louisiana
I understand the stress this season brings. That’s why I would be honored to help you cope with this stressful time. You can experience an easier transition. To start your therapy journey, follow these simple steps:
Schedule a free 15-minute consult via phone or video
Start enjoying this next exciting chapter!
Other Services Offered By Ashley Comegys, LCSW
Counseling for military spouses isn’t the only service I offer. I provide many online therapy services to women living in Florida, Colorado, Louisiana, or Hawaii. I specialize in providing online therapy for women with anxiety. I also offer a variety of other mental health services online. These include online individual counseling for women, online postpartum anxiety and online postpartum depression treatment, online postpartum support, online depression treatment, online grief counseling for women, online therapy for military spouses, and online trauma treatment for women.