The last two months been a time of drastic change and upheaval for our entire world as we grapple with the fallout from the Coronavirus pandemic. Simple things that we took for granted, like being able to quickly run in and out of the grocery store for a few things, are no longer simple. Expected routines – the kids going to school while you head off to work, for example – look completely different. Regardless of the changes each of us have experienced from coronavirus, one thing rings true for us all: Life as we all knew it is no longer the same. 

As you’ve been navigating this new way of life, you may have noticed a wide range of emotions unexpectedly creep up. You might be feeling sadness, anger, disappointment, anxiety, fear, grief and loss, or even all a rollercoaster of all of these.

Living in New Orleans, we are not strangers to grief and loss

Hurricane Katrina ravaged our city and left us with endless questions and uncertainties. And while we’ve come back stronger, having previously experienced a deep sense of loss doesn’t make it any easier when grief finds us again. 

In the midst of the pandemic, many New Orleans women have sadly experienced the loss of life of friends or family members. But, because of the restrictions this virus has created, we haven’t been able to grieve these deaths in the ways we normally would. Burials have been postponed, and funerals have been limited to a very small number of mourners. While we usually dance in the streets to send our loved ones off to their final resting place, we can’t even gather with our family to grieve this death together.

Our Grief isn’t simply limited to death

While grief over the death of loved ones has been a major consequence of COVID-19. Our own grief experiences aren’t just about the loss of life. In New Orleans, we’ve experienced the major loss of certain aspects of our culture due to the need to cancel large gatherings. French Quarter Fest and Jazz Fest have always been a hallmark of springtime in this city, and now we must wait a whole year before celebrating these rituals again.   

As a Mother, Feelings of Loss May Be Even More Devastating as you Navigate the Coronavirus Pandemic with your family

Many of us, especially mothers with kids, are grieving the loss of milestones. The need for social distancing has eliminated the ability to celebrate and capture special memories like newborn photos, graduations, and birthday parties. If you’re an expectant mom, your vision for your pregnancy probably didn’t include minimal doctor appointments or attending them alone, virtual baby showers, or a lack of family members at your delivery. These are special moments in time that we won’t be able to get back, and the feeling of loss over these moments can feel intense and deep.

Whether or not you consider yourself to be someone who likes to plan, we naturally tend to fall into daily or weekly routines. We awake at the same time each day to get up and ready for our jobs. We get the kids up and ready and out the door to daycare or school. And we go about our day, usually with some type of routine. But with schools and childcare centers closed, and many of us without a place to go for work during the day, we are all home together trying to somehow still function at full capacity. We’re wearing the hats of mom, boss, employee, short order cook, spouse, and housekeeper. And in trying to be all to all, the sense of routine and order that you once expected seems like a distant memory. We tend to cling to routines, especially in times of uncertainty. So, when those routines are gone it is normal to feel anxious, worried, or sad.           

Many New Orleans Women are Experiencing Loss of Income as a Result of COVID-19

Depending upon your career field or line of work, you may be experiencing a loss of income. New Orleans is a city that thrives on tourism, entertainment, and amazing food. And with the restrictions this virus has placed on our ability to gather, those industries have come to a screeching halt. If you work in any one of those industries, you may have gone to sleep one night with job security and woken up to unemployment. The loss of stable employment and finances are such major life stressors that it’s normal to feel anxiety, depression, or grief if you’re finding yourself dealing with this.      

Tips for Dealing with Grief and Loss in New Orleans during the Coronavirus Pandemic  

Give Yourself Permission To Feel and Process Your Emotions

Now, you may be wondering, how are you supposed to cope with these feelings and experiences? It is so important that regardless of whatever emotions you may be experiencing as a result of COVID-19, that you give yourself permission to feel them as they are. If you are sad, know that it’s okay to feel sad. If you’re anxious, it’s okay to feel anxious. If you’re angry, that’s also okay. Life as we knew it is not the same, and there is no right or wrong way to feel. 

So often we want to try to quantify and compare our suffering to others’ as a way to give ourselves permission for how we feel, or even shame ourselves for having certain negative feelings. But regardless of how much pain someone else may be experiencing from this pandemic, your suffering is your own and it is okay to struggle with that experience.    

Try To Shift Your Expectations to Meet Your Ultimate Goals

Life continues to move forward and change, and things are not and will not be as we originally expected. So, it is okay to grieve that loss and feel the sadness from things not going as planned. But, it is also important to eventually be able to get to a place where you can say, This is clearly not what I wanted or expected, but how can I shift my expectations so that I can still try to achieve my goal? Maybe you won’t be able to capture that moment your child walks across the stage to earn he diploma, but can you have a small ceremony yourself at home. But, you can capture those coveted cap and gown photos in a different way. If you’ve dreamed of having all your friends and family together for your baby shower, consider gathering your friends and family to celebrate over Zoom or FaceTime. I know that these experiences will certainly will not be exactly as you originally envisioned. But, by shifting your expectations to be more reasonable under the circumstances can help you cope with the sense of loss you have experienced.      

If You’ve Lost A Loved One, Find New Ways To Honor Their Memory

If you have unfortunately lost a loved one during this difficult time, you may be grieving this devastating loss. You may be feeling very sad that you cannot mourn them in a traditional way. But, a traditional memorial service can’t happen right now. However, you can still find ways to remember this special person. Talk with family and friends who have also experienced this loss and find a way to honor the person’s life together. For example, maybe you could create a photo or video memorial that can be shared with others. Or, you could organize a virtual time of remembrance where people can share stories and memories of this loved one. You absolutely can still have a service when it is eventually safe to gather again. But it is also important to allow yourself to start grieving your loss now.         

Social Distancing Does Not Have To Mean Total Isolation

With stay-at-home orders continuing to keep us from gathering with others, finding ways to stay connected to friends and family is vital. We are built and meant for connection with others. So, social isolation can contribute to feelings of grief and loss. Whether it’s a drive-by birthday celebration, a video chat wine night, or text messages checking in with one another, continuing to stay connected with people you love and care about can help you cope with this time of great change. Share with one another the emotional struggles you have been experiencing. Remember, chances are, you are not the only one who is feeling like this.       

If You’re Struggling to Cope with The Changes caused by the Coronavirus pandemic, consider online therapy in Louisiana

If you find yourself trying to cope with the grief and losses you’ve experienced from this coronavirus but are struggling to find emotional relief, it may be helpful to reach out to a therapist or counselor. Sometimes the emotional experiences we go through are too deep to cope with on our own, and we need extra support and guidance to help us get through. Talking with a therapist may help you better understand what you are feeling, make sense of the grief you’re going through, or just be a safe way to express your fears and anxieties. 

Many therapists are now seeing clients through telehealth sessions if they weren’t already. So, you don’t have to worry about going into an office. And, almost all health insurance plans are covering telehealth appointments. Furthermore, if you have lost your health insurance due to COVID-19 or are struggling to cover costs due to financial struggles, help is still available. Open Path Collective is an amazing resource to find therapists that offer low-cost or sliding scale fees for therapy appointments. 

I specialize in providing online therapy for Women with Anxiety in Louisiana

I specialize in working with women with anxiety who are experiencing life transitions, grief, loss, or trauma, so if you are in the New Orleans area and need someone to speak with, I would be happy to connect with you about therapy services I provide. Life right now is nothing like we have ever known before, and it is okay to feel however you feel. You are not alone in this experience. And like we always have done before, we will come back a stronger New Orleans than we have ever been. 

Begin online therapy in louisiana:

If you are looking for support dealing with the emotional toll caused by the Coronavirus pandemic, I can help. Together, we can help you manage your anxious feelings over COVID-19 and find emotional wellbeing! Follow these easy steps to get started with online counseling in Louisiana:

1.     Schedule your free, 15-minute consultation phone or video call

2.     Learn more about the ways I can help you cope during online therapy

3.    Get support during this challenging time of change and uncertainty.

Other Mental Health Services Offered By Ashley Clark-Comegys LCSW

In addition to providing online therapy to women living in Louisiana, I provide a variety of online counseling services to women in Hawaii, and Colorado as well. My mental health services include individual counseling for women, online anxiety counseling, online depression treatment, online therapy for grief and loss, online counseling for military spouses, online therapy for moms, and online trauma therapy for women.  

Please note, due to the laws that regulate my license as an LCSW, I can only provide online mental health services to residents of the state of Louisiana, Colorado and Hawaii.

Ashley Comegys is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who focuses on working with women with anxiety. She holds a license in Louisiana, Hawaii and Colorado. She specializes in providing online counseling to helps women find healthy ways to cope with the anxiety that often follows life transitions, grief, loss, and trauma. If you need help finding ways to cope with your anxiety, contact Ashley to schedule your free 15-minute consultation.