Grieving Is Never Easy

When we lose a friend or a family member, the rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions that accompany our grief can be expected to a degree. This was someone who was an important part of our life, someone we had a relationship with, so of course, we will grieve the loss of their life. But when a celebrity dies, we are often surprised by the intensity of the feelings we experience over the loss of a person we never had an actual relationship with. 

You may even remember where you were when you heard about the deaths of Prince,  Amy Winehouse, Whitney Houston, Carrie Fisher, or another celebrity whose passing caught you off guard. I clearly remember, even though I was a child, being together with my extended family over Labor Day weekend when the news of Princess Diana’s death broke. Or most recently, checking my phone after church when the news of Kobe Bryant’s death was breaking.

Grieving Our Idols 

With the passing of celebrities, the finality of their lives can hit us with a deep personal sadness that may be unexpected. We may even question our feelings: Why am I having such a hard time with this? I didn’t even know this person! Is this normal?!       

Feeling an intense emotional response to a celebrity’s death is normal. Grief is an odd thing and has no clear roadmap or explanation when we are grieving someone we knew, but the lack of explanation for our feelings around a celebrity’s death may feel even more unsettling. So, to help provide some normalcy and validation for your feelings, here are eight reasons you may be experiencing feelings of grief when a celebrity dies:

While we don’t have a personal relationship with that celebrity, we feel like we “know” them.

We’ve watched them grow and emerge as a star athlete or a Grammy-worthy artist. And in becoming a fan, we’ve supported their career and who they are as a person. Our lack of a personal relationship with them doesn’t minimize that we feel like we DO know them as a person, even if only to a small degree.

We may feel like we have a connection to that celebrity.

Maybe they had a similar childhood upbringing. Or they were a parent and we connect with that important part of their identity. Or maybe they were our age. We see ourselves in them and their loss severs that connection we felt.

We may have lost someone else who was connected with that celebrity in some way.

Perhaps it was a parent who was a big fan of that actor, or a sibling who followed an athlete’s career and decorated their walls with their posters. When we have lost someone who had a love for a certain celebrity, we may be reminded of their passing when their favorite musician or author passes away as well.

The manner in which a celebrity died may be a trigger for us.

It could be a plane crash, suicide, brain cancer, or an accidental overdose. If we have a personal experience with that kind of loss, we may find ourselves feeling grieved as a result of being triggered.

We may have seen that celebrity as a comforter for us.

Maybe watching A Knight’s Tale on repeat was your way of dealing with the mess of adolescence. Or perhaps the comedy of Robin Williams always brought laughter and lightheartedness to you in your darkest times. That celebrity was a source of comfort when you were in need, and their passing may inadvertently bring up those painful experiences of the past. 

We can’t escape the news.

When a celebrity dies, their passing can take over the news cycle, potentially for several days. But even if we decide to turn the TV off, social media then makes it hard to escape as well – people not only share the news, but they share their own emotional grief from this death. Being overexposed to the news can make it challenging to process your own emotions and it may even begin to feel overwhelming at times. 

The death of a celebrity may represent the passing of time or the loss of our youth.

As we continue to get older, it is natural to begin to experience our peers dying at an increased frequency. And with the passing of a celebrity whose career we grew up watching, we are reminded that we are all continuing to age as well.

We also may mourn the loss of their talent.

If they were a musician, we will never hear another new album. If they were an athlete, we will never again witness their incredible work ethic and athleticism. If they were an actress, we will never get to see her star in a new movie. We can acknowledge the gifts and talents they had, while also recognizing that their talent will no longer continue to be shared with the world in new ways. 

Grief Counseling Can Provide Support

So, if you’re experiencing feelings of loss around the passing of a celebrity, it’s completely normal. If you notice that you’re having an especially difficult time, it may be beneficial to talk with someone. Don’t be afraid to reach out to find a counselor or therapist to talk with. Grief is real and is complicated, and opening up to someone about your struggles is a powerful way to begin to work through those emotions. 

Begin Grief Counseling in Hawaii or Louisiana

Taking the time to grieve is an important part of dealing with the loss of a celebrity. Your feelings are valid, and you deserve to have support as you work through them. I would be honored to help you. To start grief counseling in Hawaii or Louisiana, follow these steps:

1. Schedule a free 15-minute consult by phone or video

2. Learn more about how I can help you in therapy

3. Start working through your grief with a caring therapist!

Ashley Comegys is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who focuses on working with women with anxiety. She holds a license in both Louisiana and Hawaii, and specializes in providing online counseling in both states. Based in New Orleans, LA and Mililani, HI Ashley helps women find healthy ways to cope with the anxiety that often follows life transitions, grief, loss, and trauma. If you need help finding ways to cope with your anxiety, contact Ashley to schedule your free 15-minute consultation.