One of the most common things I hear from fellow military spouses is that “the only thing predictable about military life is the unpredictability,” which is completely true. And in many ways, this sentiment rings true for pregnancy and the postpartum period, too. 

Pregnancy is filled with dreaming about labor and delivery and envisioning the sacred postpartum time with a brand new baby. But if you’ve had a baby already, you know firsthand that our careful plans and preparations oftentimes get thrown out because our bodies and our babies are really the ones in control. The unpredictability is predictable! 

While the unpredictability of pregnancy is universal for every woman, the reality is that military spouses face an additional level of unpredictability due to military life. Being married to a member of the military means learning how to adapt and adjust to frequent uncertainty. Deployments and field training can be thrown at you without much notice, which leaves scheduled plans a distant memory. And while the military’s demands frequently ruin plans, those demands also leave military spouses alone without the support of their companion during pregnancy, birth, and the postpartum period. 

Being separated from your partner during such a special yet challenging time can have a huge impact on your emotional and mental health. However, despite the predictable unpredictability of pregnancy and military life, there are ways to prepare yourself for your postpartum time. 

Ask Family for Help

Military life requires frequent moves which often take you hundreds of miles away from family. Being so distant from family during pregnancy and postpartum can make those times even more challenging. However, if you know that your spouse will not be around for the end of your pregnancy, delivery, or after the baby arrives, you may want to discuss with family how they can provide support. If your family members have the freedom and flexibility to come and stay with you, this can allow you to be in your own space while also utilizing their support. 

If your family coming to stay with you isn’t an option, you might consider going to stay with them before the baby arrives and delivering at a hospital close to them. Your Tricare benefits will go with you wherever you are so you can still get the prenatal, delivery, and postpartum care you need even if you aren’t at your own house. While it can be hard to not be in your own space during this time, having the support of family members may outweigh the benefits of being alone in your own house with a newborn. 

Connect with Other Moms

The postpartum period can feel very isolating and lonely, regardless of whether your partner is abroad or at home. Connecting with other women who also have new babies and young children can be extremely helpful. It is easy to feel like you are the only one who is struggling with the adjustment to motherhood or the duties of taking care of a new baby in addition to all your other “adulting” responsibilities. As a military spouse, it can be really hard to make new friends and build relationships when you move every few years, but seeking out relationships to cultivate in your postpartum journey can help with your mental and emotional health. Whether you search for local moms groups on Facebook, connect with other moms through an app like Peanut, or find playgroups with other moms on or off base, these relationships can be a lifeline for you when things get hard. 

Find a Support Group for Moms

In addition to finding local groups to simply connect with other moms, sometimes you need a deeper sense of support. Pregnancy and postpartum support groups can be powerful ways to connect with other women who are going through or have experienced the same joys and struggles as you. Postpartum Support International has so many resources to support women along their pregnancy and postpartum journeys. They have support groups that are both in-person and online for a variety of postpartum issues, including groups for military moms. Connecting with other women in a way that isn’t just about your baby, but is specific to your own mental, physical, and emotional well-being can provide immense support. Talking with them can help you to know that you aren’t alone in your postpartum overwhelm. 

Talk with a Therapist About Postpartum Support and Pregnancy

Pregnancy and the postpartum period can be times filled with excitement and joy but also with anxiety, depression, and overwhelm. Add in the additional stressors from life as a military spouse, and these times can be filled with an added layer of anxieties and worries. Talking with a counselor or therapist can provide support during these challenging times. If you anticipate your postpartum time being impacted by the unpredictability of military life, it might be beneficial to begin working with a therapist during your pregnancy. Your counselor can help you process and explore any anticipatory anxieties or worries you have and help you feel more prepared for what you may experience in the postpartum period. 

Having one more appointment to go to during pregnancy or in postpartum may feel overwhelming, which is why online therapy could be an amazing way to get the support you need. Tricare covers telehealth service, and you can meet with an online therapist from the comfort of your own home. Utilizing this mental health benefit could be a great way of being proactive in your mental and emotional care after your baby arrives.

Get Postpartum Support in Louisiana, Hawaii, and Colorado:

Being a military spouse is challenging, especially postpartum. If you are looking for postpartum support as a military spouse, I can help. To begin online therapy in Louisiana, online therapy in Hawaii, or online therapy in Colorado, follow these three simple steps:

1. Schedule your free, 15-minute consultation via phone or video call

2. Learn more about the ways I can help you in therapy

3. Begin the journey to being the mother you always wanted to be!

Online Mental Health Services Offered By Ashley Comegys, LCSW

I provide a variety of online mental health services to residents of Louisiana, Colorado, and Hawaii. These include individual counseling for women, anxiety counseling, depression treatment, counseling for mothers, postpartum depression and anxiety treatment, postpartum support, counseling for military spouses, and counseling for women who have survived trauma.

*Please note, as a licensed social worker, I am only able to see clients who are physically located in Hawaii, Louisiana, and Colorado.