As the number of confirmed COVID-19 cases continues to rise, the entire country is bracing itself for more social distancing and the possibility of another lockdown. This leaves many women feeling overwhelmed and anxious. Last week, the CDC issued guidelines for celebrating the holidays. This includes being aware of infection rates in your community, wearing masks, gathering outdoors when possible, limiting the number of guests and the duration of the gathering, and keeping the number of households participating in the event to a minimum. 

If you decide to cancel your holiday plans with your loved ones, you find yourself grieving the holidays you expected to have. Grief over your holiday plans is totally normal and understandable as grief is our normal reaction to a loss. And, this year, we’ve lost our sense of normalcy. 

Tips for Dealing with Holiday/Pandemic Grief and Loss from an Online Therapist:

Recognize that the holidays won’t be the same this year. 

This may be tough but it’s the first step in grieving the holidays you are used to and moving forward. It is absolutely understandable that this would make you angry, upset, frustrated, and sad. Be kind to yourself as you experience these emotions and extend this empathy to your loved ones. Remember, most people are grieving the loss of their holidays right now and everyone will show their emotions differently. Go into this holiday season with manageable expectations and you may be pleasantly surprised at what happens.

Discuss your feelings and holiday expectations for the holidays with your family

It may be tough. Especially when you have children. But having a discussion with your immediate family members on how you expect to celebrate the holidays this year is important in managing expectations and dealing with the emotions that may arise from canceling plans. Explain to them why you feel these measures are important and listen to their concerns. Discuss as a family the ways you can make this year special and unique. Focusing on positive things are important right now. Give yourself and your family something to look forward to. Even though this year is sure to look different from years past, the magic of the holidays is still there. Perhaps your family all gets new pajamas o Christmas Eve and curls at Grandma’s to watch it’s a wonderful life. Continue this tradition and watch the movie together via Zoom. 

Here is an article with some ideas for spreading Christmas cheer during the pandemic.

Remember, social distancing does not equal isolation

We’re advised to practice social distancing and not hold large gatherings to lower other’s risk of exposure. So it may feel like you’re being isolated from your loved ones and your holiday traditions. But, what it actually means is you’ve been given an opportunity to be creative. As women, we’re especially good at adapting and meeting the needs of our loved ones. This is no different. Get creative and think of new traditions that can be made or ways to keep the old ones by participating virtually. For example, if your family always goes around the Thanksgiving table and shares something they’re thankful for, send an email to your family and invite them to participate in this tradition via Zoom. Perhaps you have older grandparents who are in a nursing home, and you can’t see them right now. Consider, having all the children send them pictures or artwork that they’ve drawn depicting what they love about their grandparents. 

Do things that bring you joy

Now more than ever, taking care of your mental health is very important. If you’re struggling with your feelings, especially during the holidays, it is important that you take the time to care for yourself. I know how hard it is to put yourself first, as a woman, wife, and mother. But, I assure you that it is important for your mental health. So, take some time for self-care: go outside, exercise, take a bath, practice deep breathing and meditation, paint your nails, read a book, do a craft. Just do something that makes your heart happy

Talk to an Online Therapist:

Being home and more isolated during the pandemic has brought up some painful feelings, thoughts, or emotions for many people. Suddenly, you find yourself unable to see the people you love and celebrate this wonderful time of the year with them. That hurts, and it’s normal and natural to feel grief over the loss of the life you had before the pandemic. I assure you that you’re not alone. Even though you may get over these emotions eventually, over time they buildup and can cause larger mental health concerns. Talking to an online therapist can help. As an online therapist in Louisiana, Hawaii, and Colorado, I can help you overcome the struggles you’re experiencing and help you find hope for a happier tomorrow. 

Begin Online Therapy in Louisiana, Online Therapy in Colorado, and Online Therapy in Hawaii:

Getting to a place where you feel peace spending the holidays at home during the pandemic is possible, and online therapy can help. If you’re ready to begin online therapy, follow these steps:

1. Schedule your free, 15-minute consultation via phone or video call

2. Learn more about the ways I can help you in therapy

3. Begin the journey to being the mother you always wanted to be!

Online Mental Health Services Offered By Ashley Comegys, LCSW

I offer a variety of online mental health services to residents of Louisiana, Colorado, and Hawaii. These include individual counseling for women, anxiety counseling, depression treatment, counseling for mothers, postpartum anxiety and depression treatment, postpartum support, counseling for military spouses, and counseling for women who have survived trauma.

*Please note, as a licensed social worker, I am only able to see clients who are physically located in Hawaii, Louisiana, and Colorado.