Five Ways to Prioritize Your Mental Health as a Mom in the New Year
New Year, New Beginnings
The beginning of a new year is the time when we reflect back on the year closing out and look to the new one with great hope and ambition for the things we want to do and be. But for many of us moms, the last two years have been completely and utterly exhausting. There isn’t a manual for how we are supposed to raise kids, and there sure as hell isn’t one for how to parent during a global pandemic.
So many moms have simply been in survival mode since March 2020, and the simple idea of trying to set a goal for yourself feels overwhelming and daunting. So, while the start of the new year may be a time for resolutions and goals, I want to instead encourage each of us to find a way to prioritize our mental health as moms.
Focusing on Your Mental Health
Our minds and bodies are not designed to be under the constant and consistent stress that they’ve experienced the last two years. The majority of moms I’ve spoken to feel burned out, overwhelmed, and exhausted. While there isn’t a quick fix or a pill that will simply take the overwhelm and exhaustion away, by taking small steps to prioritize your needs and your mental health, you may begin to feel some relief or a reprieve from the stress. Check out these five ways to prioritize your mental health as a mom in the new year.
1. Set Realistic Expectations for Yourself as a Mom
Somewhere between the glossy images of magazines and the ever-changing Instagram feed, many women have internalized this glamorized idea of what a “good mom” is supposed to be. Carefully-selected, staged, and curated images are not what get to define motherhood for you. If you feel overwhelmed and ready to tap out, it’s okay if you feed your kids chicken nuggets and French fries four nights this week. If you just don’t have the time or energy to make baked goods for the class Valentine’s Day party, it’s perfectly okay to pick up a pack of Oreos at the store. If the laundry just isn’t going to get folded this week and will live in the basket, that’s okay. Be mindful of your mental and physical energy, and if you find that the expectations you’re holding for yourself feel overwhelming, it is okay to change them so they better align with where you currently are.
2. Give Yourself Permission to Say No to People and Commitments
Moms are commonly known for being able to multitask and juggle and “handle it all.” But the reality is that much of the burnout that moms experience is because we are trying to do it all. Many of us carry feelings of guilt when we say no to someone or something. However, if we don’t set boundaries for ourselves by saying no, we run the risk of burning out faster or even more than we currently are.
If your family wants you to come visit, or they want to come visit you and it feels like it’s just too much right now, it is perfectly okay to say no. If your child wants to sign up for another extracurricular activity that requires you to shuttle them to practice an additional two nights a week, it is okay to say no because you need some down time for yourself. While your boundary setting may upset someone else, that doesn’t mean your boundary is wrong. Saying no to someone or something else is saying yes to yourself, and that is a vital way to prioritize your mental health.
3. Find an Outlet for Yourself Outside of “Mom”
Before having kids, I would bet that you had things you enjoyed doing. Maybe you loved going out dancing with friends, played in a kickball league, read for pleasure, enjoyed crafting, or loved traveling. When kids come along, many of the things we enjoyed doing for ourselves get put on the back burner, and the last two years of the pandemic have heightened that even more as we’ve been spending more time at home and with our kids due to quarantines and precautions. But not having alone time just for yourself, time to not be in “mom mode,” can wear on your mental health.
Perhaps it’s going for a walk at a local park without the stroller and kids to keep an eye on. Maybe it’s starting a virtual book club with several girlfriends (this helped me get through the pandemic so much!). Or maybe it’s taking a virtual watercolor class where you can tap back into the creative side you’ve been missing. Talk to your partner and let them know you need their support in order to carve this time out for yourself and not have to be in charge of the kids during that time.
4. Be Open With Others About Your Struggles
When we are struggling, it can be so hard to admit to ourselves, let alone anyone else, that the ship is sinking. Moms so often take pride in being able to “do it all” even if that means that we are cracking and breaking. We might fear and worry what others will think about us if they know the truth. But the reality is that so many other moms and women in general are experiencing these exact feelings but because they aren’t good at admitting their own struggles either, you would never know they are feeling burned out, too. Whether it is your spouse or partner, your best friend, or a stranger in a local Facebook group, sharing with someone that you are feeling overwhelmed and are struggling can actually help to alleviate some of that pain. By simply being open to others about how we are feeling, we can start to relieve some of that internal tension surrounding trying to keep it all together and not let anyone else know how we’re feeling. By admitting to others, and yourself, that you are burned out and stressed, they can then offer support.
5. Seek Out Online Therapy for Moms
Having someone to talk to about the experiences you are going through can be helpful for processing your thoughts and finding new ways to cope with your struggles. It can be so hard for moms to make time for themselves to go to an appointment, but working with an online therapist can allow you to get the mental and emotional support you need with ease.
You can meet with an online counselor from your home during nap time or at your work office on your lunch break, so the worry about finding childcare or having to drive somewhere doesn’t have to be a factor. The last two years have been full of stress, trauma, and anxiety, so having an online therapist to talk with about your experiences can be one of the most beneficial ways for you to prioritize your mental health as a mom in the new year.
Begin Counseling for Moms in Colorado, Florida, Louisiana, or Hawaii
You deserve to take the time for yourself and your mental health in the new year. I would be honored to offer counseling services to help you with the issues related to the pandemic, life stress, or any other issue you may need support with. I offer services to clients living in Colorado, Hawaii, Florida, and Louisiana. To start your therapy journey, follow these simple steps:
Schedule a free 15-minute consult via phone or video
Start healing from the comfort of home!
Other Services Offered With Ashley Comegys, LCSW
I am happy to offer a variety of mental health services for women in Colorado, Hawaii, Florida, and Louisiana. These services include therapy for anxiety, online postpartum depression treatment, online postpartum support, and online depression treatment. I am also happy to offer online grief counseling for women, online therapy for military spouses, and online trauma treatment for women. Feel free to visit my blog or about page for more helpful information!